


Tessellate

by BurningTea



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Finding a place to belong, From a headcanon rec that turned into a ficlet kind of thing, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-05
Updated: 2016-08-05
Packaged: 2018-07-29 10:17:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7680526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BurningTea/pseuds/BurningTea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Finn is used to feeling part of a pattern, and he isn't sure how he fits into his new life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tessellate

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ExpatGirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ExpatGirl/gifts).



When Finn first wakes from his coma and finds himself a hero, he has trouble settling. He’s used to being part of a pattern, a repetition of the same shape over and over and over again. He wanted out, sure, but that isn’t the same as knowing what shape to take now.

It isn’t the same as knowing he’s the only one of that shape, that he isn’t part of a tessellation.

It’s Poe who shows him there are patterns around him, patterns into which he can fit, it he wants. Formations and rotas and traditions abound on the base, same as they do anywhere, even if they aren’t quite the same shape or texture as the unified, controlled ways he’s used to. It’s Poe who shows him there are beliefs and causes larger than themselves, and that every single one of them is just part of that whole. Poe shows him how a guy can slip into the cause and be more than himself.

Finn takes it all in, tries out the traditions and the formations and everything else, and finds joy in it.

Still, he feels…singular. In a way he never expected to, he feels the weight of being noticeable, of being a face to be recognized. Not like he didn’t stand out in his way back in the First Order, but once the helmet was on it was much, much easier to feel he was just one of many.

Here, he’s just one.

It’s Rey who shows him that being one can be an entire army in itself.

She returns with Luke Skywalker. Luke. Skywalker.

More importantly, she returns with her survival instincts and her lifetime of being just herself, and with her fierce, burning determination that tells anyone who cares to look that being herself is more than just enough.

Finn finds he wants to be a part of that, and he finds it much easier to be a part of that pattern which is Finn and Rey than he does the one where he’s just Finn.

Not that he’s lacking in pride at what he’s accomplished. Poe tells him how proud he has a right to be, and Poe is someone to believe.

It’s more he’s used to being one of a group, even if he wanted out of that group, but Rey is enough to feel like he’s found something to belong to, to be a part of.

Still, there’s something missing from the pattern, something that doesn’t overlap. There are edges with space around them.

He closes some of those spaces when Rey kisses him, one night as they sit in the Falcon and talk about the past, and the present, and the future. He’s nearly got the shape of things, now.

They fly missions and take part in battles and do all manner of things he hated the thought of when he was just one part of a repeating pattern being set to work. With Rey and Poe and his own freedom to choose, it’s less scary and more, but it’s worth it.

He only really feels he’s closed all the gaps in his new pattern when he takes a mission with just Rey and Poe, and it turns out all three of them together can form an overlap that leaves no empty spaces at all.


End file.
